How the Hell Do You Make Friends Here?

Brits are known around the world for their reserve. This is fantastic when watching a period drama but when you’re actually trying to make friends with them it comes off as well….rude. We all have the image of people going down to the pub and having a wild night of drinking with the friendly locals. Do not expect to mosey up to your nearest pub, order a pint and instantly become friends with anyone there.

For one thing, Londoners don’t like strangers to speak to them. They’d really prefer if you not acknowledge their existence especially if you’re sitting next to them on the Tube. Don’t believe me? Just try to strike up a conversation with a stranger and see what happens. I almost guarantee that you’ll be ignored and written off a mentally ill. But if the person next to you does acknowledge your existence, they’re probably another expat or certifiably crazy.



Now some people have managed to do down the work route to making friends there. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. Again, we have images of the entire office going out for a pint after work on the company’s dime. But in THIS economy, don’t hold your breath. Also note that most Brits who work in London, do not live in London. So as soon as the clock strikes 5 (or 4:55 in my office), they are dashing out the door to get a start on that long train ride home.

So how the hell do you make friends??? One word. Social networking. Don’t laugh. It actually works. All of the friends that I’ve made while living here I’ve meet though a social networking site. Now that doesn’t mean that you should randomly start friending people on Facebook in the hopes that they’ll meet you for a drink. Again, if they do, they’re probably crazy. Instead, I highly recommend checking out Meetup.com.

Meetup.com is like a bulletin board of different interest groups. If you’re really into something like sports, wine, volunteering, nudity, (yes, even nudity), then there is a meetup group for you. As with anything, some of the people are nice and some are weird. Just go in with an open mind. You never know who you’ll meet. I can honestly say that I’ve met some truly awesome people through various groups including the London pub crawls and the New Girl in Town groups. So it is worth checking it out. There is even an American expat group which has a pretty awesome Superbowl party and is a great way to meet other Americans.

Another alternative is Yelp. Although they are primarily a review site they do have loads of off-line events. They have a thriving London community and put on some great events, salsa dancing, pub crawls, movie nights, group dinners, etc. And these people know how to party. So if you show up for one of their events, prepare for it to be a long night out as their events will inevitably have a pre-party and an after party.

I’m not a religious woman, but I’m told that you can always find a friend in faith. So be sure to also check out any groups that your local church, synagogue or mosque may have.